Last week I wrote about mastering vs. healing. Some things you just can’t heal. They stay in your life pissing you off until you die. The key is to master them and instead of getting pissed off, letting the energy flow you through you with minimal effect. It takes mind control, something you can only achieve with much practice.
So how do you tell the difference between an issue that you’re going to eventually heal and one you’re just going to have to master? It’s a valid question, one that I’d like to opine about here but with a caveat to the reader: this is my current opinion and may change as I gain more experience with the subject. Plus, others may have different or better answers to this question than I do. If you find one, I’d really like to hear it!
First off, I believe it takes living your life for more than a few decades to realize whether something’s going to be healed or not. Those decades had better include some serious inner reflection and self-examination as well. One must really want to discard one’s spiritual baggage in order to achieve personal growth along the path. It is a big, huge mind game we’re engaged in. Nothing more and nothing less. To the victor (steady sojourner) belong the spoils (absolute joy)!
Working on an issue for years, trying everything you can get your hands on in terms of modalities, persistently trying to heal a character flaw or addiction and it just won’t go away – that’s more than likely an issue that’s going to have to be mastered. For me, I’ve decided that sugar addiction is never going to be healed – I’m just a sugar addict. I always will be in this life. The only answer I’ve come up with that actually has begun to work is telling myself “NO” to sweets. I say to myself, “I’m a sugar addict. I can’t even have one cookie or it’ll be a row of Oreos tomorrow.” After decades of fighting the Demon Sugar, I finally realized that nothing I throw at this is going to make it go away for good. After all the tears, self-recriminations, railing at God for making me this way, anger at “Big Sugar” (if there is one), I finally realized it’s just time to throw in the towel. Sugar addiction wins this round/life.
Or does it? If it causes me no pain – if I give it no more than a passing thought once a week – has sugar addiction won or have I? In my mind, I’ve won. I’ve returned my mind to peace. Sugar no longer has any power over me – I don’t miss it, I don’t envy those who can eat it, it just doesn’t exist for me any more.
Now, am I going to have to fight this fight in the future again? More than likely yes. It stands to reason that if I live long enough, this Demon is going to show up on a day I’m not at my best and it’s going to win. I’m going to stress over it and THAT will be the substance of IT winning. On the other hand, if I just say to myself that it’s OK to have this dessert and I’m sure I’m not falling off the wagon, and then I actually don’t mind getting back on the wagon – then I’VE won. I have not given Sugar the power to stress me out – the energy just flows through me, doing no damage at all.
That’s what I call Mastery.
Healing is different. An issue or trauma or character flaw gets wiped away and never shows its ugly face again. Your mind is at peace and the issue is gone from your life, never to return. An example of that for me might be the childhood sexual molestation I experienced (see earlier post). You can bet it caused me a lot of pain while it remained unhealed. The ugly, black tentacles of such a violation extend into every area of one’s life, wreaking havoc and distorting every good thing there. I threw everything I knew at THAT issue and one day, I found a healer who helped me forgive. It’s been almost ten years since that beautiful day and I know it was a healing because the thought of the violation gives me no negative emotional charge. I see in my mind the face of the molester and feel only pity for him. I re-forgive him every time, not because I have to but because it’s so natural. It’s easy. I love that he gave me the gift of learning to forgive. It is probably the best gift anybody has given me in this life. I bless him for playing that horrible part he had to play in my life, at some cost to his own peace of mind.
That’s what I call Healing.