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Learning through Rewards vs. Learning through Pain « BLOG: A COURSE IN MIRACLES & MORE.

This is a wonderful blog post. For me, it comes at a perfect time. Yesterday I had a major flip-out, which involved lots of tears and yelling at Heaven. Boy, was I mad! I felt betrayed in my beliefs that Heaven was truly on my side. It is awful to think that maybe your entire belief system is wrong.

Fortunately for my sanity, I didn’t really think that my belief system was wrong. I knew deep down that what I believe is what I will continue to believe – that God is on our side and we are wrong to think otherwise. However, in my moment of pain and suffering, I had to yell at someone so I chose God. How convenient!!

After sleeping on it, I realized that asking myself one question would help me find the truth in this issue. That question is “what is the value for me in believing that Heaven is against me on this?” The answer is that it takes responsibility away from me for living my own life, making good choices, and living with the consequences of those choices. Yesterday, I could not get out of my self-imposed victim role because I was too caught up in wallowing in sorrow and invective. The Ego is a cruel and seductive master. When you’ve been a self-imposed slave to it for as long as I have been, it’s hard to see the Light 100% of the time.

You know what I mean.

In the end, I’m glad the suffering is self-imposed and that I made these choices. Because now I know I can be the one to change my mind and Heaven, as always, will be on my side, helping every step of the way.