It has come to my attention that I have felt a low level of depression for quite some time. Work at the office is a welcome diversion from the thoughts in my head but time off just brings them back. Yesterday was a difficult day in terms of depression again. Actually, I was just a rate 3 (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being horribly depressed, 0 being not) but still, that’s exhausting when it’s ALWAYS a 2-3. Did some MRT (muscle response testing) to discover I’ve felt this way for nearly half my life (I am 51).
Of course, it was my creation to have a difficult life this incarnation, to do a lot of healing work, to make progress. And I have. But I felt it is time to have an easier time of it. Now that I’ve learned what my job is (healing and forgiveness), I am not likely to forget that. I do not need bodily pain, difficult choices, hard times to make me wake up. I told the Holy Spirit (HS) to make my life easier from now on; I renounce the vows I made pre-incarnation to have a difficult time of it. I asked the HS to infuse joie de vivre – mojo – general happiness into my being because I just don’t know how to find it any more.
Although I did not feel anything at the moment, I had faith it was done. Last night before I went to sleep, I felt some energy movement in myself. Pictures of a man’s face repeated 10s of times before my inner eye, moving from left to right like a film reel. It was symbolic of all the future interactions that were no longer necessary in this life as a result of accepting an easier time of it going forward. It was amazing.
This morning I feel a little better. The integration of this new energy will take some time. My job is to look for it manifesting in my life.